Close your eyes
by Panemsheik
Summary: Full summary inside: James wants Logan but someone is in the way
1. Chapter 1

**My first BTR fan fiction. It's a James/Logan or Jagen or Jogan or whatever you call it. **

**Title: Close your eyes. **

**Summary: James Diamond can have anyone that he wants, and he chose Logan Mitchell, the bassist for a band that lives at the palm woods, but Logan is damaged goods, he's been told that. So why would someone of near perfection want him? **

**This is also a Kendall/Logan story with slight Kendall bashing. **

**Warnings: mentions abuse and is slash. **

**Disclaimers: I do not own Big time rush. **

…

The party went off without a hitch. Everyone gathered in the tiny dining hall as they celebrated yet another birthday with James Diamond, the primo boy of the palm woods. Everyone surrounded the dark haired boy, everyone from ex-girlfriends, to ex-boyfriends and current people crushing on the singer/song writer. But in the distance, stood Logan Mitchell, the one person that James Diamond could not obtain. He was a bad boy, one that most people avoided. He hung out with Kendall Knight, another bad boy and also Logan's boyfriend. They stood in the back by the door, not really caring about the party, why they were there didn't make sense either but they weren't ones to pass up free food. Lucy stone, the singer of the band that the two were apart of was actually enjoying herself as she danced with a blonde girl that the two had seen on a show called "New Town High." She danced over to them.

"Come on guys." She smiled as she grabbed their hands and dragged them to the floor. "It's not so bad, He's not so bad, we were wrong about him."

Logan pulled away from her. "Sorry Luc, not my scene."

She huffed and turned to Kendall. "Tell your boyfriend to enjoy himself." With that said she wandered off to find the blonde girl.

"She's right you know. Have a little fun once in a while." Kendall went on the dance floor in search of Lucy.

Logan went back to his spot, he picked up a glass of punch and began to sip. "Goody too shoes." He said to himself as he realized there was no alcohol in the drink.

"I know, I wanted to add alcohol to the drink but Bitters didn't want a complaint." Came the voice of James Diamond. He stood next to Logan, a little too close. Logan moved away and James followed. He could have any guy he wanted, he wanted Logan but Logan showed no interest in him and James planned on changing that.

"So, you're a musician." James asked. Of course he knew the answer but he wanted to talk to Logan for as long as he could.

"Yeah, a real musician." Logan responded. His eyes narrowed when he looked at James, who was now tense.

"What's that supposed to mean? I am a real musician. My songs deal with real problems, real issues." James defended. His music was all real.

"Oh right, like that song you just made? What is it called, like nobody's around? What was about?"

"You want the truth? It was about my abusive ex-boyfriend. And I made the song after we broke up, after he went to jail." James hadn't meant to say all that, he didn't really know this guy and he had just told him something private. "Look forget that I came over here."

James started to walk off but Logan grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry, I had no idea. Jett seemed like a really nice guy."

'Yeah, that's what everyone thought." James said bitterly. "So I didn't say anything. I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear this."

"No, it's fine. I understand what you're going through." Logan admitted. James looked at him warily.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Logan looked out at the dance floor at Kendall who was dancing with Carlos Garcia, one of James's exes.

"Kendall?"

"It started when we were in middle school. At first it was little things, he would get mad about Hockey and take it out on me. We were just friends then. I knew he had issues, but I was his best friend. I wanted to be there for him. Then we moved here to pursue our dreams and we started dating. It got worse after that." Tears were welling up in the eyes of the toughest guy James had ever seen. James wrapped Logan in his arms, not caring who sees.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. Ok, trust me, I'll help you through this. I'll help you get away from him." James offered. Logan just sniffed. But when he looked up, he tensed, coming his way was Kendall, and Kendall was a jealous person.

"Let him go" Kendall yelled, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. He pushed James aside and grabbed Logan by the collar.

"How dare you cheat on me!?" Kendall yelled at Logan. And then he turned to James and pushed him. "You stay away from him."

James gained his composure and took a deep breath before turning to Kendall. He pointed a finger in his face. "First off, he did not cheat on you. You bastard. I don't even know why he puts up with you after how you treat him. Yeah, I know about you and what you do."

Kendall's face turned sour, James wouldn't intentionally air the dirty laundry because he knew what that would do to Logan. Kendall punched James after a few seconds. Most of the girls screamed, whether it was because of a possible fight that was going to happen or because their beloved James got hit and his face would wear a bruise for a while.

"Uh Guys" Lucy began, she stood in the middle of the two before anything could escalate. 'If bitters finds you two fighting both of you are going to get kicked out and maybe dropped from your labels."

"She's right. We should talk this out like adults." James said. He extended his hand for Kendall to shake but Kendall just grabbed Logan and headed out the room. All eyes turned to James, Carlos, James's best friend rushed to his side to make sure that he was ok. When all was good, James left, knowing his little outburst had caused Logan trouble went to the pool to think. He knew that in the morning Logan would have bruises, or maybe would be worse. He just hoped that he would be alright. Yet in the meantime he had to figure out a way to save Logan, no matter what it took, James Diamond was not going to let Kendall Knight harm Logan Mitchell anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to thank everyone who alerted this story, and a special thanks to Achocolatada and that anonymous reviewer for reviewing the story. **

**/**

James Diamond headed to the Palms wood pool early the next morning, six in the morning to be exact. This was the only time that his entourage wasn't around. As he pulled off his shirt memories of Jett came flooding back to him. He really hadn't thought about the actor since he went to jail but being around Logan and learning his story those memories came back to him.

**Flashback: A year ago**

"_Stop it Jett." James Diamond yelled, but not loud enough. Jett just kept hitting him. But this time James hadn't done anything wrong. All he really did was come onto the set of "New Town High" to wish Jett good luck since it was his first day. Yet Jett seemed upset over that because when he came home that night he began hitting James over and over until James began to bleed. _

**End of flashback**

As James settled into the water he couldn't help but think of Logan and hoping that the man was ok. He began to do his laps when he heard what sounded like a moan. Instinct kicking in, he rushed out the pool and headed towards the sound. He reached one of the cabanas and pulled back the flap, there lying on the ground was a gruesome site. Logan was there curled in the fetal position, he was barely recognizable underneath all the blood. His face had swollen and he was crying out in pain. James knelt beside him.

"I'm going to go get help. Don't worry." James reassured him. He got up to go get his phone but Logan grabbed onto his arm.

"Don't leave me." He just managed to get out before spitting out blood.

"I don't want too, trust me, but I need to go get my phone and call 911. I'll just be a second."

He tried to leave again but Logan caught him again. "Please don't call. He'll kill me if you do." This time he lapsed into unconsciousness. James knew he should call the police but he also knew about what would happen when Logan got better, Kendall would be ten times worse. Instead he called Dak, his ex-boyfriend who also happened to be a doctor. Dak knew the situation that James were in and he would keep the same confidentiality with Logan. Dak arrived in no time and the two of them took Logan to James's apartment.

After Dak worked on Logan for what seemed like an eternity, the sat down for a chat.

"His marks are worse than yours were." Dak said. He had seen some pretty gruesome things but Logan's were by far the worst.

"I know, Kendall is kind of brutal. He's a stunt guy half the time too. He's stronger than Jett ever was."

"He can't stay with Kendall." Dak stated. The two men looked over at the couch at a sleeping Logan.

"I know that, but he won't leave him. He's too afraid."

"You have to help him James. Before it's too late."

Dak left moments later but told James that he needs to call him every hour to let him know about Logan's condition.

..

It was nearly noon when Logan had woken up. He looked around at the unfamiliar apartment and when he saw James sitting in the corner of the room watching him, it clicked. Kendall had beaten him up the night of the party after they left because he thought that Logan was cheating on him. Kendall then left him there. He was found by James the next morning, after that is blurry. He hurriedly got up and headed towards the door, James grabbed him before he could leave.

"You can't go back there. Logan." James said. Logan tried to pry his hand off but it was no use, James was stronger than him.

"Please, just let me go. If he finds out that I'm here, I'll be worse than I was last night. You don't want that do you?"

"No I don't but you can't go, he could kill you."

"If he finds me, here with you, then he could kill us both. Kendall is crazy."

Logan gave James a hug before James released him and he left out the apartment. James hoped that he would be ok.

…

James had a meeting with Roque Records later that afternoon to promote his CD, Carlos and Jo, the sister of Jett (They were nothing alike) escorted him there. Jo was going on about Lucy and how she thinks she's in love.

"I'm serious guys. Lucy is amazing and beautiful. I'm in love." Jo gushed, as the group opened the door and was soon met with a rush of cool air, which was unusual. Usually Roque Records was scorching hot because Gustavo was cheap.

"It's freezing in here." Carlos complained, he and Jo embraced each other to get warm. James waited at the door for Gustavo, but what he saw next angered him, leaving out the office was Kendall, Lucy and Logan who was now wearing shades. Kendall saw James and a smirk appeared on his face. Jo, who had been laughing with Carlos immediately stopped when she saw Lucy and that turned into a blush which made her hide behind Carlos. That explained the coolness. The ice king had entered the building.

"What are you doing here?" James snarled at Kendall who grabbed Logan and pulled him close to him.

"Well, we are the newest artist to sign with Gustavo." Lucy spoke as she felt the tension in the room.

James turned red, he did not want that thing working anywhere near him. But this did give James and excuse to be near Logan and keep him safe. He could come up with duet projects that would guarantee that Logan would not get harmed.

"Well that's just great." James said through gritted teeth. He gave a fake smile before walking into the office, Carlos followed while Jo stayed behind.

"Hi Lucy." She smiled while blushing. And Jo never blushed. Lucy grabbed her hands and pulled her close. She whispered in her ear.

"Hi Jo." She said seductively before leaving with her band mates. She left Jo there speechless.

…

"So to sum things up James, we have you scheduled for a summer tour in Europe. We had Cher Lloyd signed up but we know about that little incident between you two." Gustavo explained to James who was too wrapped up in Logan to really care what was being said.

"That's fine. But actually I have a suggestion, why not let Mystic Mouse headline for me? They are your newest band and what better way to rub it in Hawks face that you stole one of his artist then by having them headlining your biggest artist?" James told Gustavo whose face lit up at the idea.

"That is fantastic. I'll give them a call." Kelly agreed, she went off to make the call. Yet one thing remained on James's mind.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did they want to come here? I know it wasn't all you."

"If you must know, Kendall Knight called me up and told me that he wanted his band here. He heard that we were the best."

And there it was, Kendall didn't come to Roque records because they were the best, he came here to rub his relationship in James's face.

…

James went to the Palm woods alone after his meeting with Gustavo, Carlos was meeting with movie producer and Jo had to go film some scenes for "New town High." As he got on the elevator his thoughts went to Logan, he wondered if the teen was ok, did Kendall harm him once they got back. He did not let his mind wander to the worst case scenarios. When the elevator stopped on his floor he heard crying, whoever it was wasn't trying to hide. James followed the sound and found that it came from his apartment. His door was open and walked inside. Sitting on the couch was Logan.

"I had to get away." He sobbed. "I just had too." When James finally noticed, Logan was covered in blood, and it wasn't his.

/

**Oh my, a cliff hanger. What happened here with Logan? Any takers? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Because since I get confused when writing in third person, I have decided to continue this story in first person. **

**..**

When I opened the door Logan was sitting there covered in what was that? Blood? At first my thoughts went straight to that Kendall had hurt him. More than what he could recover from, but then I noticed that it wasn't his. He had no marks on his body.

"I had to get away." That was all that he said. I rushed to his side.

"Logan, what did you do?" I asked. He started crying more.

"He came home, he was angry with me. Lucy wasn't home. He started beating me. Then he…he tried to rape me. I didn't want that. I pushed him away, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. He didn't think that I would do it but I did, I ran out of there. I don't know if he died or not."

I pulled him into my arms, "it's going to be ok. I promise. We're going to go back to your place to see if Kendall is ok."

"I don't think he is. I stabbed him three times in the back. Who can really survive that?"

"Kendall is strong. I'm sure he did."

I yearned deep down that he did. If Kendall died, Logan would go away for a long time, no matter if it was in self defensive. No juror would see the homosexual act liable. Even in California, some people are still closed minded.

As soon as I got Logan cleaned up we headed to their apartment. The lights were on and I heard chatter. It sounded like Lucy. I slowly opened the door and found Lucy kneeling over Kendall's body. He seemed to be breathing.

"Come on Kendall." She said sobbing. She was shaking him, trying to wake him. She finally noticed us there.

"Logan do you know what happened?" she asked. He didn't say anything, but if he did I knew he would confess. So I spoke for him.

"He doesn't. He was with the entire night. I just bought him home. Maybe we should call an ambulance."

"I did. Their on the way. I just have to keep him breathing till they get here."

Lucy didn't move from Kendall's body as the EMTS entered the room. She even rode with him as they rushed him to the hospital. By morning this would all over the news.

"I want to confess." Logan said hours later in my apartment. For the first time, he slept peacefully. You could see it on his face. There was no fear, no anguish. Just peace.

"No, I can't let you do that, you can't turn yourself in. if you do you'll go to jail. I don't want you to go."

"I can't sit here knowing what I did. It's not right."

"Logan, you were protecting yourself."

"Then why can't I tell the police that?"

"Some won't believe you because you're gay."

I pulled Logan into my arms as he continued to cry. Crying for what, I don't know. But all I do know is that I have to do my best to protect him. No matter the cost.

….

I took Logan to the hospital later that day to check on Kendall. The cops were outside of his room, asking Lucy questions. Jo was there and so was Dak. When he saw us he excused himself and came over. He already knew.

"Logan, you need to tell me exactly what happened." He said. We walked to a room that was secluded. "I want to help you. I know what it's like for someone like you in prison, so you need to help me out."

Logan spent the next ten minutes telling Dak what happened and by the time he returned to the cops Logan was crying all over again.

The cops were still in the hall when we left out the room. Lucy and Jo had gone in the room already and the cops were looking to me.

"Logan Mitchell?" one of the cops asked. He nodded. "I'm detective Bob and this is my partner inspector Jennifer Gold. We have a few questions to ask you about last night. Do you mind?"

He nodded.

"Where were you between the hours of 11 and 2?" Jennifer asked.

Logan stumbled over the words for a while until I answered.

"He was with me." I answered.

Detective Bob looked at me. "You're James Diamond, Am I correct?"

"Yes sir."

"And you were with Logan the entire night?"

"Yes sir, he was upset and came to me to talk."

"Why were you upset?" Inspector Gold asked him. I saw something flash in his eyes, I couldn't identify it.

"Kendall beats me. Has since we were children. That night he hit me to the point I collapsed. When I came too I left while he slept and went to James."

The two looked at each other, for a moment they didn't believe him until they saw the bruises on his face. Jennifer whispered something to her partner.

"I didn't do it." Logan admitted. I couldn't believe that he just said that. "But Kendall does have enemies. Ex-boyfriends, Ex-girlfriends that would love to have seen him dead. But there is one that lives here, Wally Dooley, He's an actor at the Palm Woods. He treated Wally worse than he treated me."

"Why didn't you ever report him to the police? Even when you were younger?" Inspector Gold asked him.

"Really? What would the cops have done? And Kendall's parents paid the cops off in our hometown to keep quiet. There was no use."

When the cops left I turned to Logan.

"I thought you wanted to confess. That was your chance."

"I know James, but I thought about what you said, and what Doctor Zevon is doing. I can't just let all that go to waste. But hopefully Kendall makes it. If he does, then we won't have anything to worry about, right?"

"Yeah, if he does, then everything will be fine. And once he's better you're leaving that place. You can still be in your band but there is no way you're going to be living with him any longer."

…

To say all of this went from trying to get with Logan to him now residing in my apartment. It's been two weeks since the incident and Logan has actually been at peace since. He's slept better than ever, even though he still has nightmares. His singing has gotten better as well. There is more confidence in voice that you can hear. We haven't made anything official yet but I have a feeling that soon we will.

"No, I think maybe we should head to Europe first then the rest of the world." Logan said as we sat in the park at the Palm Woods. We were having a wonderful picnic outside. Just me and him.

"You just want to go to Italy." I teased. He play slapped me on the arm, he was so cute at times that I couldn't help it sometimes.

"Well of course there's that. I mean who doesn't want to visit Italy? The eternal city."

"The City of Love.'' I added. He stopped and gave me a smile before he leaned over. Our lips were inches apart, a few more seconds and then his phone rang. He pulled back and took it out. When he looked at the caller ID his smiled faltered.

"It's Lucy.'' He said gloomily.

"I thought you liked Lucy?" I asked confused.

"I do, it's just that she said she would call when Kendall woke up. I guess this is the call."

I pulled Logan into my arms.

"Hey, it's going to be ok." I reassured him.

He answered the phone. And after about five minutes he hung up.

"Everything ok?"

"Kendall, he's… He can't remember anything," Logan said almost too happily.

Well, what do you know? Kendall can't remember.

…..

We spent the rest of the day celebrating. For one, Kendall couldn't remember what happened to him and second he can't remember Logan. Logan was free.

"What luck is this?" Logan asked as we headed back to my apartment.

"I know. Who would have thought that Kendall would lose his memory? Now you won't have to fear him anymore."

I gave Logan a hug which lasted longer than either of has expected. That's when it happened. He kissed me, and there was no fear or anger in that kiss, just pure love.

"Wow." I said after we pulled apart. He gave me a puppy dog look as though he didn't want to stop, but we had too, I needed to breath. "That was amazing."

"It was." He moved closer to me and attempted to kiss me again. I pushed him away.

"I thought this is what you wanted?" Logan asked confused.

"It is, it was but you need time. Trust me I know. After Jett was arrested I hopped into bed with the first guy I saw and that ended horribly."

"Yes, But I know you James, I like you James. You won't do me like that. I know because you feel the same way. I mean you are willing to help me cover up something like this just to protect me. That's love."

He kissed me again and this time I didn't push him away.

…..

As Logan slept I watched over him, he had a smile on his face. He was happy. His phone had rang and I answered it.

"Hello?"

"_James? It's Lucy. Where's Logan?" _

"Oh, he's sleeping. Is everything ok?"

"_I'm bringing Kendall home in the morning. The doctors say it's best for him to be around everyone from his past to help him remember. But I don't want him to remember Logan. I guess what I'm saying is keep Logan far away from Kendall. Please James. I don't want this to go back to how it was before." _

She hung up and I understood what she said. She knew this whole time and let it happen. This was her way of making up for that, she would help Logan like this, by keeping Kendall in the dark about him, to make sure that Kendall never remembered Logan and what he use to do to him.

"Who was that on the phone?" Logan's sleepily voice said.

''Oh, that was Lucy. She's bringing Kendall home tomorrow."

He tensed up. "But she wants me to keep you away from him and she's gonna do her part and keep him away from you so he doesn't remember you."

…..

The next few weeks were hectic. I made sure that Logan stayed out of Kendall's way and Lucy did the same. Kendall was forbidden by his doctors to continue in the band and eventually was replaced by Carlos.

"Hey James." Logan said. "I found this song by Celine Dion and I was wondering if maybe we could sing it during the concert."

"What is it?"

"It's called "This time"

"Put it on."

He played it on his laptop. The song started out slow and then Celine Dion's voice belted out the tune.

"_One more hour burns _

_So scared of his return_

_That I can't sleep tonight in this hospital light. _

_What you call a tragedy it's just another day to me for my heart beats with fear, as his footsteps draw near. _

I went to turn it off but he stopped me.

"Listen, Please.

_The life I'm meant to lead_

_Won't slip away from me_

_Cause this time's the last time _

_I know my eyes have seen too much_

_This nightmare is not fair _

_And I've had enough _

As the song continued I looked at Logan, he seemed moved by the song and I understood it, this song was fit us, what we went through and how we both overcame it.

"You sure this is a song you want to sing this song? In front of your fans? Won't they want to know why you chose this song?"

"And if it comes to that then I'll answer truthfully."

"This will change your life Logan, are you prepared for this? I mean people aren't dumb, they could put two and two together and put you at the scene of when Kendall was attacked."

"No one is going to figure that out because for all they know I could be singing it for you. About what you went through, Kendall and I's relationship wasn't out in the open like everyone assumed. When I appeared broken and bruised everyone thought it was because I fell, I did play Hockey before I came here to L.A. and I still like to Play Hockey. That's kind of what we would tell the press when they asked. And once again everyone is looking to Wally Dooley, Kendall's ex who he beat so terribly." He gave me a kiss and all of a sudden I felt weird. There was something wrong with the words Logan spoke. Something dark behind that light in his eyes.

….

A month later:

Logan had gone out with Lucy today, Kendall was still in rehab, and he still didn't remember Logan or what happened to him that night. Wally Dooley was still in custody, he couldn't come up with an alibi for where he was the night Kendall was attacked and I decided to visit him.

"I didn't do it" Wally told me. I looked at him, I knew the truth and I wanted to help him but I couldn't without compromising Logan.

"Tell them that." I responded.

"I have, but I can't come up with an Alibi, I can't even remember where I was that night. It's a blank"

We spent the next five minutes truing to help him figure things out but nothing came up. As I got ready to leave I caught sight of someone I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Long time no see James." Jett's voice mocked. I turned away from him. Who would be visiting someone like him?

"I was just meeting with my lawyer. I'm up for parole you know. Good behavior."

"You? Good behavior? Yeah right." I snorted.

"It's true. I've been a model inmate and this parole could not have come at a better time. I mean what world do we live in when someone like Wally Dooley attacks innocent people? He seemed so nice when he use to come over for dinner."

That caught my attention.

"You dated Wally?"

"No, he dated my brother. Kendall. Then he had the nerve to attack him and left him for dead. He's lucky I haven't killed him yet.

There was no way, but that explained a lot. Kendall use to hang around Jett for a long time. I just thought that they were friends or something. I had no clue they were brothers.

"Kendall is your brother?"

"Half-brother. We have the same father."

"Time to go Jett." The guard called. He blew me a kiss and left. I got in my car and drove back to the Palm woods. Not only was I worried because there was a possibility that Wally could end up dead but Jett might be getting out of prison early and he would return to the Palm woods, back to me. I screamed inside the car. Everything was getting better and now everything was screwing itself up again.

….

Logan was waiting for me in my apartment when I returned.

"Where were you?" he asked me. "I tried calling you but no answer. I was worried."

"I just went for a drive around the city and my phone must have died."

He kissed me. Ever since the first one he hasn't stopped. Usually I would have savored this kiss but right now I had too much to think about.

"Sorry for making you worry. I'm gonna hit the showers ok?"

"Do you want me to join you?"

"No, that's ok."

I headed to the bathroom and began the water. So much was going on right now, Kendall having amnesia, Jett being Kendall's brother and now the romance that's blossoming between Logan and I, Who I believe is going crazy from keeping this secret. It's all too much right now. I heard the bathroom door open and soon the shower door slid open.

"Logan, I told you that I wanted to shower alone."

"I know you did. But I don't want to be alone out there. I need to be with you James." He stepped in the shower with me and I wanted to back away but he was determined not to let me go.

"Logan, please just wait a moment ok. This is moving just a little too fast. You just got out of a relationship with Kendall. You don't know what you want right now."

"I know exactly what I want. I want you. I always have and now I can have you. All to myself. James. Don't deny me. It'll only hurt yourself if you do."

There was something twisted in the way he said the last part that had me worried. I was beginning to think that there is a lot more to Logan Mitchell then what we knew.

…..

I woke up the next morning naked in my bed, Logan was hanging over my body. I slept with him last night even though I told my mind I wasn't. He was just too convincing. I instantly regretted it the moment it happened. This isn't how I wanted to be with Logan. Not while all this pandemonium was happening around us. I moved him so I could get up but he was resilient. He pulled me closer to him.

"Where you going babe?" he asked me still half asleep.

"I need to use the restroom. Let me up?"

"I'll come with you."

"No Logan. I can go by myself. "


End file.
